Blog, Feminism, Uncategorised

Judging and motherhood

Think we all know that mothers (and some fathers) will get judged no matter what they do. That seems to be a given, and mothers seem to get judged more harshly – probably because they do the bulk of childcare.

I’m no longer shocked, but this disgusting excuse for an article on ParentDish got me thinking about my own mother.

The mother in the article (who they actually name) is the focus of some real nastiness all because she likes to make her son creative packed lunches.

For reference, this is an example from her website.

Packed lunch with googly eyed roll
Packed lunch

Maybe a bit cutesy, and more effort than many people could be bothered with; but it seems kid friendly, healthy and fun.

The ParentDish article goes to some lengths to denigrate this poor woman, who has done nothing to deserve the abuse. The comments include such gems as;

Has she no life?!

He will also get beaten up for being a mummy’s boy

Is she not just raising a boy who will grow into a man who refuses to eat sandwiches that haven’t had their crusts cut off and been moulded into the shape of a superhero? Think about his poor wife, for the love of God. Where will it all end?

There’s something about this that sounds a bit sad – turning chores into creative opportunities because you have no other outlet. Song and dance routines while doing the washing up, anyone? Artistic ways of hanging out the washing? There’s a judgemental part of me inside that’s screaming “Get. A. Job.”

What do you think? Are Mrs Hall’s creations a joy to behold, something to be celebrated?
Or is she two sandwiches short of a picnic?

How is any of that necessary?

Now I’m not likely to be found doing these sorts of packed lunches, bit too much effort for me. But if she is able to and wants to why the hell shouldn’t she? It seems from reading her blog that her kids adore it too. So she’s happy, they’re happy, but someone else has decided it’s wrong.

To me it reads like snobbery against a stay at home mother. Especially the comments about her getting a job and having no life.

My mum was a stay at home mother, my childhood is peppered with little things like those sandwiches. And you know what? Those are my most precious memories, yes my mum was there for all the big stuff, did some massive things for me, but the ones that really tug on my heart now she’s gone are these little unnecessary touches. It’s the fact that they aren’t necessary, that they do take extra effort, and that they are designed purely to get a smile – that’s exactly what makes them precious.

Yes maybe she had too much time on her hands, maybe she should have gone and got a job, but it made her happy. And when she was dying she never regretted being a stay at home mum. Neither did her children.

That’s what is important.

Should point out, this doesn’t mean I think SAHM is the best option. All I’m saying is that you have to do what is best for you and your family, and not judge others if their needs and wants vary from yours. We are all different, all our kids are different, do what suits you and yours. And leave others to do the best they can for theirs.

3 thoughts on “Judging and motherhood

  1. Looks like the article has been removed, but I think you got a good enough amount of those awful comments in your entry. I agree with you wholeheartedly sweetie.

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